You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
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