One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
