Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
