SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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