Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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