I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I have tasted many bathrooms
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
