I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
