If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Randomize
