is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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