Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
only if we run a train.
done.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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