i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
