I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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