I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
