I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
