he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
