We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize