dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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