I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
