You can't special order awesome
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
