We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
