Cold hands, warm shart.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
