the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
