I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize