The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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