Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
