Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
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