Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
