Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
