I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
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