he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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