she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize