you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
