dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
