I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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