at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize