bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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