I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Randomize
