How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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