i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
