apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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