Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize