And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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