I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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