Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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