guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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