Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize