WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
