Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
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