HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
