your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize