come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize