I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
