And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
