On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
